I didn’t know that I had a voice
— my own unique sound to sing to the world.
I lost it somewhere along the way in my growing up
in what was my gray world lacking shape and substance.
I had been silenced
and continued to silence myself.
When I came to know that I had the right to sing
my truth to the world without editing,
without waiting for permission,
when I knew that I could growl or wail, laugh or keen
then I changed.
I found the strength to ignore the harsh words and disapproving stares
of everyone who tried to direct my choices and control my life.
I came to know who I AM — who I was born to be
and to know that what others thought had no power to touch
my personal truth.
I no longer sought rewards or accolades.
I no longer sought recognition outside myself.
I no longer focused on worldly success.
I lost, “Congratulate me.”
Now, I relish all the sounds of my song —
laughter, joy, melody and harmony, even cacophony.
And I continue to be open to what will come.
My world, now, is not one of nothingness
created by my fear
that that was all that I deserved,
by my belief that I didn’t matter.
Now, my song it the most important music in my life.
It is the first sound I hear each morning,
the last one I hear each night.
I permeates my dreams.
It is with me always.