Over four years ago, I chose to start blog titled Authentic Vibrations with the tag line – words which are still a reflection of what I believe and how I strive to live my life: Choose to live with passion, clarity of intention, and generosity of spirit. And I’ve posted pieces on my thoughts about education, the arts, writing, personal growth and self-development, and some just for fun.
I found an image which I paid someone to adjust to fit the header of the blog as she created a design for the site. And I had nothing to do with the set up of the site beyond finding the image and creating my own tag line.
When I first chose to send what I had written out into cyberspace, I knew that I had to let go of my need for what I had written to be perfect. I also had to be willing to let go of my need for outside approval of my writing. I wrote because it was [and still is] important to me to do so. And I had to be willing to post my writing without any expectation of approbation. Still, I found myself checking my site stats to see how many views my blogs had. Using numbers as an indicator that what I had posted was somehow pleasing to others was attached to old issues about performance and being judged as acceptable.
Over these last few years, while I’ve continued to post to my blog, I found myself increasingly unhappy with its appearance. To me, it was too stark and harsh. Even the image was too dark. It wasn’t engaging and inviting. There was no sense of curiosity and whimsy. It was not a true reflection of who I know mySelf to be.
So, earlier this year, I chose to work with Crystal O’Connell, wonderfully creative woman of Creative Integration Web Design, to totally redesign my blog. And, this time, I was involved in the creative process from the beginning – choosing images, fonts, and colours; organizing material; writing text.
As my new site took shape I remember commenting to Crystal and laughing about how big my new site is. Now, for anyone who doesn’t know me, I have a very large physical presence. And, when I commented on the size and detail of the new and improved Authentic Vibrations, it had nothing to do with my physical size.
This new site is a reflection of ME and just how big I AM. And I’ve realized that I am so much more – bigger – than I ever thought I’d be. I have substance. I’m not small in any way.
With the new and improved Authentic Vibrations , the very best of ME has come to the fore. And in owning all that I AM, I know that I have taken hold of mindful and meaningful creation. I choose to live an expansive life. I know that my life is not only about knowing more. It is about being more.
In owning all that we are, we open a path toward a destination that manifests who we are. Creating my new site has made me abundantly aware of this in each breath.
I’m choosing to end this with a poem I wrote last year and which I had not realized until now was about the beginning of this stage of my metamorphosis.
Trusting My Wise Woman
Stirring in the elusive
moment of possibility,
the day begins.
My time of anticipation.
What to do?
Where to begin
on this new day – this new dawn?
Shall I run? Shall I sing?
Shall I skip through my day,
filled with joy?
Time to move.
Only I can choose how to begin.
Only I can create the story of my day – of my life.
Only I can fill it with laughter and love –
wonder and stirring music.
Only I can choose my way forward
knowing that it is my journey home
to the truth of who I was born to be –
to the me my soul has always known.
To know my truth, I must trust
my wise woman
whose voice comes in whispers.
I need only stop, breathe,
and honour her words to me.
It is as simple as that.